keep ur head up

have u watched an interactive music vid before?

if no, check THIS out!

http://www.andygrammer.com/

he's definitely one guy u wanna watch out for ;)

Up!

disclaimer: this aint bout the animation movie UP - dont get over excited! it also aint any advert bout airasia.

I did somethin spontaneous recently. I bought meself a ticket to Jakarta thx to Airasia for super cheap rate, and awesome timing! haha... so in 2 weeks i was off to visit me familia across the sea! One thin for sho, I luv airports... seeing d ppl..tryin to guess where they goin.... the excitement u can see in the kids (or fear!)... the whole idea of venturing to a place which isn't ur home gets me all hyped!

There's this thing about flying up up in the sky that makes u ponder on life... i dont know bout u..but it always happens to me.. thinkin about the ppl back home..whats to happen next...and the bigger picture.

I was coming back frm Padang - KL, n just looking at the roads..the cars driving looked like lil toys, couldn't even see the human beings.. made me realize how small we are as a human. we are just one person.. and life goes on weather u r there or not.. why do we think so big of ourselves? looking at the sea.. i could see the waves emerging and coming to shore.. it was amazing how these waves just emerge frm d middle of nowhere..n come crashing to the shore... the mountains were so huge even from above... Nature is indeed somethin magnificent...and we take it for granted!.. there's so much beauty in the world (cue Macy Gray's song)... i've seen so many pretty heavenly sights while flying..! and it just reminds me that im just a tiny human being lucky enough to be here and appreciate the beauty God has given and just doing what i can for this place called home.

Flying really makes a person think! i highly recommend it ;)

oh Lotus!

i never would have thought how serving at one place can leave such an impact on me.

Serving at the Baha'i House of Worship a.k.a Lotus Temple in Delhi for about a month plus was just out of this world! literally!

now after 3 months... i still miss it every single day..n im not kidding! it just brings joy and a feeling unexplainable being able to serve and what more to chant prayers inside the temple... i've never loved saying prayers more in my life than when i was there! and the Indian people.. they are so spiritual!

ok not ALL of em..but sooo many of them are! its so easy to have meaningful conversations with the visitors there... everyday i'd pray that i'd be able to have meaningful conversations with at least one person.. and i always got my wish granted :)

but the experience wouldn't be THAT awesome if it weren't for the volunteers! in just a short time, we became really tight even tho everyone was from different backgrounds, but that was even better! all of us jz chilling by the steps, on the temple grounds..always celebrating somebody's birthday or a going away party and going to the bazaars while rushing to beat our curfew..adventures i'll neva forget!

the whole thing was so surreal.. i couldn't believe myself that i was there! i've dreamt of serving there for the longest time ever...n now my dream came thru!

i'm definitely gonna go back there again.. but i also wanna travel India properly and experience it ALL! this time my mind was just focused on service so i really didn't bother to go and see places in Delhi... next time im gonna do both and for a longer period of time... so it's on my list of places to re-visit again!

i miss it soooo much!

where's the groooove?

i've been tossing about the idea of moving to a new blog to start anew...

but, 1st of all I think i've lost the groove to blog.. like i used to think of stuff to blog, now i dont anymore!

2nd.. it could probly be due to the fact that i just pretty much bumm and dont have really exciting stories to tell...

3rd (and bestest reason) is that i'm pure lazy!

BUT i decided to do a post cuz somebody told me to update! hahaha...

so aint gonna move just yet... will try to find inspiration 2 blog here once in awhile lah :)

just being in this phase of life right now isn't as bad as i thought! I mean yeh half d time im at home.. but i like the freedom of doing what i want whenever i want :D

been thinkin if i shuld go learn a new skill.. like dancing! but these stuff always involves money (long term).... so its always keeping me back! maybe when i start earning i could invest in that!

as much as i dont want money to matter...in the end it does! n i hate money matters..

aite i wont go there cuz im no expert!

till d next time! taaaa

life after uni

WHOA!

its been awhile since i last saw this blog! anyway good thing dat nobody follows.. teehee ;)

so Im finally DONE with uni... finished me assignments and exams! last day of exams was jz like any normal day... dats wat i hate bout HELP... all i remember doin is goin out 4 mamak at nite wit my couz Vaf n siblings 2 suku's.. haha...happenin laaa... all my othr uni mates still had papers 2 finnish dats why!

pt. 5 of life finally began afta uni.. i became full time intern with sunny stories.. ahh..my work was interesting..having to call our local stars (whom i never knew previously) n askin em to come audition! :p

afta internship over, i visited me granma....spend some good quality time with her..learnin bit of cooking, doing Ruhi & studying Ridvan msg together...it was nice :)

my next adventure began right after that -India :D

my dream come true to go serve at the Lotus Temple... it was AMAZING! not gonna elaborate here....

rite after India, the whole fam went to Oz (me n neda did melb n sydney) 4 our couz Astan's wedding, where 3/4 of d time was spent eating or searchin 4 food/coffee! i swear i got fat!

n rite now im back to being a bumbum....n i await my next adventure.....!!!

last but not least....

mark this time.

i am finally done with psycho assignments! and i mean ALL! after 3 years torture of analyzing, reviewing journals, reflecting, referencing... im done wit em!!

couldnt be more happier right now...!! :D

oh i do hope i get a good grade for this one... it took me sooooo long to finnish a 1000 word essay.. i did better during my thesis in fact! :p

but its alll overrrr now... assignments wise that is.. there's still defense and finals!

cheking me list of one at a time.. so suspense lah! haha...

but im so reliefed rite now.. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

dawn

the only thing i like about staying up the whole night to do assignments is the fact that i get to see the sun slowly rising. if it weren't for this, i dont think i'll witness dawn time (besides during fasting time of cuz!). once the sun is up, its my cue to go sleep.

Thesis is killing the life outta me! and i'd like to remember this moment. hence the post!

chicken run

I was waiting in line in KFC the other day and I overheard the people at the front of the queue arguing with the cashier. Apparently, KFC had sold out of chicken. The customer asked, "How can you run out of chicken? This is KFC!" to which the cashier replied, "What else are we supposed to run out of?" -taken from MLIA

almost

im almost there

almost at the end

but the light isnt appearing yet

so near yet so far

so muddled the thoughts, for now n for future.

so screwed up, yet the taste of end seems like fruity bubble gum.

pop goes the bubble.

stress.disappointment.stress.backpain.

need to go thru this to see the end.

as chinese saying goes "chi ku hou tian" - eat bitter, later sweet

aiyoh.finish this already!

:(

18th & 19th Day

all i can remember in this last two days of fasting was last min shopping!

i know, fasting is meant for us to learn to be detached and all, so why u think i didnt bother bout naw-ruz shoppin till the v.last min? i was busy being detached n all :p

anyway i went shoppin on me own this time.. its tough having to decide on what to buy, but then at least i dont get influenced by other ppl's opinions, and buy what i truely like..and i must say i was v.happy with my shopping!

the last two days also really tested my patience... i obviously dont really hv much of it, so it was huge test!

anyway i'm glad i did this..and now the fast is over.. the sun has set and life goes back to normal, and im liking it :)


i hope u enjoyed this special 19days!
now a New Day has come..a.k.a Naw Ruz!

15th, 16th & 17th Day

finally im not 1 day behind! :p

the battle i face everymornin with my bed and head.

the sunrises as i get back for sleep pt.2

pure torture baking sinful cookies during da fast for naw-ruz!

after the sun sets, the city looks alive

12th, 13th &14th Day

its the last proper weekend of the Fast!

spent most of it doin me research..my last chance, cuz my dateline IS coming up!

im grateful that i had a wonderful assistant researcher with me thru out cuz im sure i wouldnt have made it on me own!

goin to different places for my research just gave confirmations that our education system is really bad :(

on the side note- i've got a PLAN :) find out soon what the PLAN will be!

luv how its been an up and down weekend again..oh Fast!

11th Day

today all wanted to do was sleeeeep.. but of course Friday doesnt allow me to do so.

today i saw the boy who used to come all cheerfull for children's class last year, came in looking v.depressed and skinny. and i wonder what's happening in his home...

today i am not sure if i should follow my heart or my head. Im not sure which will i regret more...

today i wonder even more what my life will be after i graduate... its like i think i know, but i dont know. geddit?

today i fasted. ha!

9th & 10th Day

i got one word for these two days:

DEHYDRATION.

so refreshing...ahhh..heaven la!
here's a quote i found that's pretty interesting n symbolic;)

“ … they that tread the path of faith, they that thirst for the wine of certitude, must cleanse themselves of all that is earthly—their ears from idle talk, their minds from vain imaginings, their hearts from worldly affections, their eyes from that which perisheth. They should put their trust in God, and, holding fast unto Him, follow in His way.” - Baha'u'llah

*credits to nineteendays for awesome selection of Writings!*

8th Day

had a hard time wakng up. harder than usual... i almost wanted to NOT have breakfast, but i guess its impossible when u've got family around you.. must be a good thing i think?

but today im really thankfull for the time i had to sleep, and just to be at home doing my work. i feel calm, and peaceful somehow.

this is a wonderful prayer - i put the link because i like the page a lot!

11more days....

7th Day

it's been a week!

and finally on the 7th Day i feel its great to break fast with a bunch of youth, good homecooked food from each one, reflections, and Baha'i CHARADES!

i wish my comm had put more effort into planning breaking our fast more often together then jz de weekend.. i luv goin 2 ppl's house and breaking our fast together... its that warm fuzzy feeling eating together with others that i miss most this time around... its also more motivating to fast when u know whats in store after the sun goes down ;)

so who's house next? :p

4th, 5th n 6th Day

it has been a gruelling weekend. so gruelling that i didnt even bother to come online.

started off with half of my film groupmates not showing up, so had to skip half me class to go shoot our 1st scene which took a v.long time! then as i was rushing to go home for JY, Sunny wouldnt start :( so thank god me groupmate came back to take me to train station cuz we couldnt figure out wat was wrong with Sunny. that night my bro took over my JY - im thinking the whole way back, what was God trying to test me? and i figured maybe there's a wisdom behind it.. i hope its a wisdom worth the trouble! :p later in the middle of d night, we (dad,bro n me) head back to coll to check on Sunny.. we tried to revive it, but our attempts failed *sob sob*

so 4th day of fast..i learnt to rely upon God, and accept that there is wisdom behind everything.

next day, i had to wake up early to take some gov survey "exam" which to me was a real waste of time! then afta dat i decide to wait wit me dad while he gets de car fixed...if i were in his shoes, i wouldnt want to be alone in a car park tryin to fix my kid's car. so a whole afternoon spent in the carpark under scorching heat...and still Sunny was in a comma... :(
we head back home jz in time for car wash with the JY's as our fundraiser for the Baha'i Fund. we might have had fun washing cars...but i really dont know how to get em to be disciplined..esp de younger ones.. in d end a parent came and complained that their kid came back home soaked wet and dont wanna send him for JY anymore.

5th day of fast taught me to be patience under all conditions and to control me emotions d best i can.

this mornin went to Mentari to conduct my thesis research... im not sure what i did was right or wrong... im not sure if the the spirit im doing it was right.. plans that i made with my fellow researcher didnt work out so well as she had to leave even b4 we could begin the research and so i keep wondering why do things keep going wrong? what kinda TEST is this la God? i came back home so tired and all i could think of was to sleep. even though i knew i had heaps of work waiting for me to get em done... i slept like a dead person. and now im awake, but with a pile of work nudging me to get em done. i feel like a machine at this moment.
why cant i enjoy the fast like i want to? on the bright side tho, Sunny came back to life! ah..wat a relief :)

6th day of fast and im trying to put my trust in God and have hope.

“Never lose thy trust in God. Be thou ever hopeful, for the bounties of God never cease to flow upon man. If viewed from one perspective they seem to decrease, but from another they are full and complete. Man is under all conditions immersed in a sea of God’s blessings. Therefore, be thou not hopeless under any circumstances, but rather be firm in thy hope.” Abdu'l-Baha

3rd Day

well today i didnt go straight to sleep afta breakfast, instead we (mom,dad,bro & sil) said prayers togather and reflected on the Writings..

somehow this felt goood to me... today the Writings touched on how Abdu'l Baha should be the example in our lives while dealing with fellowmen.. Abdu'l Baha is The Perfect Exampler, reading stories about His life makes one have so much respect for Him! what would we do without Abdu'l Baha la...

also while praying, i realized how fortunate i am to have family around me during this fasting month, especially during breakfast... somebody to wake me if I am still not downstairs by 7, to share food and then pray together.. im not sure how long more i will have this bounty, so gotta appreciate it while i have it! but im also very interested to experience having breakfast alone someday..hehe..

2nd Day

a friend of mine sent this to me - Poem from Ruumi:

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep.

guess what i did? i went back to sleep..after prayers.. my discipline fails me! but i feel whole lot fresher havin that extra 1 hr sleep! :p

but i wonder if Ruumi really meant by dont go back to sleep literally or spiritually?

-today was alrite despite having to go round in da heat promoting YGR, but spiritually? hmmm..

1st day

"Mere abstention from food has no effect on the spirit. It is only a symbol, a reminder."

this is what that was goin on in me mind the whole day today... im not sure if im doin it right.. i even unconsciously slipped a kacang in me mouth to test if it had masuk angin! SIN i have! :(
i hope that 1 kacang didnt harm me fast..

i wanna find what is that effect it has on the spirit... and how isit some people come to love the fast so much...

18days to go to find out...

19 days

well the Baha'i Fast is here again..!

last year i was inspired by this blog nineteendays which had various people from around the world contributing their pictures. so this year, im gonna try to post something up for next 19days.. something about this Fast. i know i am one day behind... so im hoping somehow this will work out, just so i dont let 19days just slip away like it always does!

anyway.. here's to the next 18 days!

HAppY FasTing my Dear Baha'i Friends!!!

I just canceled my appointmen to meet my lecturer today in like 20mins time. Man.. i hope i dont go on his black list!

J to da Y - Junior Youth!

Im not sure why i hardly blogged about a bunch of wonderful kids which i have been teachin for the past three years in their Baha'i Children's Class...! each of them have their own character, they make really interestin ppl! these kids have gone thru a whole 5 years of Baha'i childrens class learning virtues, more about the Faith, and having lotsa fun while at it - and i never really said much bot it havent i! well im gonna start right now.

During this few years, I have learned so much from them and have grown to love them very much... especially with a few that i see possess so much potential! Teaching in children's class has also help me grown personally, i realize that i love teachin these kids and it's awesome to see them slowly change into young little vonderful human beings :)

anyway.. the kids in my class turned 11 this year, and since we had finnished (kinda) the Furutan Book with them.. i told them we'd be goin to continue into the JY programme. they were excited to finally be able to join their older 'korkors' who had left them last year.. i checked with em if they were ok if i became their animator, and they were cool with it. and i was reliefed -phew!

so this year, i am no more their 'teacher roya' but rather just roya. its hard for them AND me that the concept now has changed. I cant always be ordering em on what to do.. rather i need to ask the correct questions..they cant just keep quiet and make me give em answers, they need to start thinking for themselves. SUCH BIG change! its tough.. so far its been almost 2 months, and they still do call me teacher, but thank god i have yeeteng with me to remind em im not their teacher. and she is someone they can look up to as their fren :)

Im pretty excited at the stuff we can do with a JY group.. its such an exciting period of life..there is so much to explore, so much to learn! i wonder if i can handle it or am i meant to just teach kids..? will find out in due time.. i just hope i wont be imposing too much of my ideas on em cuz i know i can get excited about somethin and then push for it when they mite hate the idea! ahh.. gotta keep da balance.. all in my learning process..

so anyway i hope to blog more about these bunch of wonderful JY.... i really hope things turn out good.. even tho there has been minor probs...so far its been cool.. i wish we had more time with the group to do more stuff.. 2 hrs seems like 2 seconds!

The Encounter

Having had an awesome time karaoke'ing wit me frennies, i headed back to Sunny (the faithful car!) after paying for parking. As i walked out, suddenly a girl popped out on my side. She was shorter than me (amazingly there ARE ppl shorter than me!), young indian girl, and had a pityful look on her face.

She approached me asking me if i could give her a lift. She told me her money had fell into the toilet bowl and she had no money left at all to take any public transport back. I inquired where did she want to go, and she said Kepong. Truthfully i told her that it wasnt on my way as i was heading the opposite direction. In my mind i was thinking 'such thing oso can happen ah... is she conning me?' then i asked her to try asking other people, to which she replied that she did ask people, but she got scolded instead. I was like 'ohh..okaayy...' but somehow i still didnt know if this was some kinda con job or if it were for real.
It was dark outside, if i did take her home, who knew what was install for me? in my mind all sorts of possibilities came (eg. kidnapping, slashing my throat, list goes on...) so I asked her to try calling home, see if someone could come fetch her, she said she didnt have a handphone, and that the house phone was cut, and her family didnt have any handphone too. This became a lil fishy to me.. how can nobody got phone? this is the handphone era we live in.. even granmothers oso have handphone wat...
anyway she continue to plead me to give her a lift..i told her again it was the opposite direction for me. I didnt know what to do.. i wanted to help her, yet i felt as if something was up with this girl. So the only thing i could do was to give her some money to take public transport. I only had rm2, and she told it wasnt enough for her to get home. That was true as friggin Rapid KL has increased their 'tambang' and its absolute nonsense (another post maybe on it!). But i couldnt do anythin.. all i could say was 'just use it to take one bus 1st then ask poeple for some money for the next bus. I told her sorry, and left.

As i turned on the car and drove back home, i wondered if i was being too cautious, and totally unhelpful to this poor girl. I was really afraid to take her in as i was alone...Maybe if i had a companion, things would have been different. I just followed what my gut told me to do. But this made me wonder if our society has me/us become too selfish, and afraid to help people in need because of the many crime reports I/we hear everyday?

Your Grandfathers Road ah!

this is one helluva awesome project is finally out in the public!


Sunny Stories comprising of diretor Manesh, and producers Amy & Roshan are on a journey to make a movie by the people, for the people! how they wanna do this? well they want to hear your stories... it could be anything! once they have taken bits and pieces of the stories and put it into a script, then the fun happens where you get to decide where the location should be, who should act in it, what the costumes they should wear, and maybe even act as an extra for the movie!

sounds exciting no?
well then u gotta check out www.yourgrandfathersroad.com :D
dont be a silent reader, but rather an active contributer for your story to be heard!

p.s you may wanna watch out for the vids to see some very familiar faces ;)

finally 2010!

ahh.. its finally the start of a new year!

*ok.. i know i've been silent..but guess nobody realized! there was no motivation on me part to blog... even felt like stopping to blog. i make no difference to the world anyways. but i still got another sem (hopefully its my last!) in uni, so i need a space where i can procrastinate! :p *

rite.. so the whole of 2009 was me waiting for 2010 to come.. why?
well because 2009 couldnt beat the awesomeness of 2008. plus i got sick too much, it was horribleee! but lucky me, towards the end of d year, things picked up, and it didnt turn out so bad! hehe..
lets see...in 2009,I :

no.1 - went white water rafting again n it was awesomeee posssumm!
no.2 - had the best naw-ruz to date
no.3 - actually manage 2 comeup with my thesis proposal and happy with my grade
no.4 - worked during my summer holiday.
no.5 - attended YES2009, which was pretty cool!
no.6 - made my room a lil bit more 2 my taste :p
no.7 - met some really coool ppl who became friends
no.8 - got sick wayy too often to my liking.
no.9 - got really broke
no.10 - finally covered borneo by going to Sabah, spending on my savings n havin an awesome time!



but for me, 2010 is what i hope will be more spicy and interesting. hopefully i'll grad frm uni, and then began my life for real! i wont say more cuz i believe in jinx's n so i dont want this to be jinxed!

so, here's a to 2010! please pweeety please dont let me down!

hope it'll be a hella ride for u guys toooo :D