im almost there
almost at the end
but the light isnt appearing yet
so near yet so far
so muddled the thoughts, for now n for future.
so screwed up, yet the taste of end seems like fruity bubble gum.
pop goes the bubble.
stress.disappointment.stress.backpain.
need to go thru this to see the end.
as chinese saying goes "chi ku hou tian" - eat bitter, later sweet
aiyoh.finish this already!
:(
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
18th & 19th Day
all i can remember in this last two days of fasting was last min shopping!
i know, fasting is meant for us to learn to be detached and all, so why u think i didnt bother bout naw-ruz shoppin till the v.last min? i was busy being detached n all :p
anyway i went shoppin on me own this time.. its tough having to decide on what to buy, but then at least i dont get influenced by other ppl's opinions, and buy what i truely like..and i must say i was v.happy with my shopping!
the last two days also really tested my patience... i obviously dont really hv much of it, so it was huge test!
anyway i'm glad i did this..and now the fast is over.. the sun has set and life goes back to normal, and im liking it :)
i hope u enjoyed this special 19days!
now a New Day has come..a.k.a Naw Ruz!
i know, fasting is meant for us to learn to be detached and all, so why u think i didnt bother bout naw-ruz shoppin till the v.last min? i was busy being detached n all :p
anyway i went shoppin on me own this time.. its tough having to decide on what to buy, but then at least i dont get influenced by other ppl's opinions, and buy what i truely like..and i must say i was v.happy with my shopping!
the last two days also really tested my patience... i obviously dont really hv much of it, so it was huge test!
anyway i'm glad i did this..and now the fast is over.. the sun has set and life goes back to normal, and im liking it :)
i hope u enjoyed this special 19days!
now a New Day has come..a.k.a Naw Ruz!
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
15th, 16th & 17th Day
finally im not 1 day behind! :p
the battle i face everymornin with my bed and head.
the sunrises as i get back for sleep pt.2
pure torture baking sinful cookies during da fast for naw-ruz!
after the sun sets, the city looks alive
the battle i face everymornin with my bed and head.
the sunrises as i get back for sleep pt.2
pure torture baking sinful cookies during da fast for naw-ruz!
after the sun sets, the city looks aliveMonday, March 15, 2010
12th, 13th &14th Day
its the last proper weekend of the Fast!
spent most of it doin me research..my last chance, cuz my dateline IS coming up!
im grateful that i had a wonderful assistant researcher with me thru out cuz im sure i wouldnt have made it on me own!
goin to different places for my research just gave confirmations that our education system is really bad :(
on the side note- i've got a PLAN :) find out soon what the PLAN will be!
luv how its been an up and down weekend again..oh Fast!
Saturday, March 13, 2010
11th Day
today all wanted to do was sleeeeep.. but of course Friday doesnt allow me to do so.
today i saw the boy who used to come all cheerfull for children's class last year, came in looking v.depressed and skinny. and i wonder what's happening in his home...
today i am not sure if i should follow my heart or my head. Im not sure which will i regret more...
today i wonder even more what my life will be after i graduate... its like i think i know, but i dont know. geddit?
today i fasted. ha!
Friday, March 12, 2010
9th & 10th Day
i got one word for these two days:
DEHYDRATION.
so refreshing...ahhh..heaven la!
here's a quote i found that's pretty interesting n symbolic;)
“ … they that tread the path of faith, they that thirst for the wine of certitude, must cleanse themselves of all that is earthly—their ears from idle talk, their minds from vain imaginings, their hearts from worldly affections, their eyes from that which perisheth. They should put their trust in God, and, holding fast unto Him, follow in His way.” - Baha'u'llah
*credits to nineteendays for awesome selection of Writings!*
so refreshing...ahhh..heaven la!here's a quote i found that's pretty interesting n symbolic;)
“ … they that tread the path of faith, they that thirst for the wine of certitude, must cleanse themselves of all that is earthly—their ears from idle talk, their minds from vain imaginings, their hearts from worldly affections, their eyes from that which perisheth. They should put their trust in God, and, holding fast unto Him, follow in His way.” - Baha'u'llah
*credits to nineteendays for awesome selection of Writings!*
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
8th Day
had a hard time wakng up. harder than usual... i almost wanted to NOT have breakfast, but i guess its impossible when u've got family around you.. must be a good thing i think?
but today im really thankfull for the time i had to sleep, and just to be at home doing my work. i feel calm, and peaceful somehow.
this is a wonderful prayer - i put the link because i like the page a lot!
11more days....
but today im really thankfull for the time i had to sleep, and just to be at home doing my work. i feel calm, and peaceful somehow.
this is a wonderful prayer - i put the link because i like the page a lot!
11more days....
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
7th Day
it's been a week!
and finally on the 7th Day i feel its great to break fast with a bunch of youth, good homecooked food from each one, reflections, and Baha'i CHARADES!
i wish my comm had put more effort into planning breaking our fast more often together then jz de weekend.. i luv goin 2 ppl's house and breaking our fast together... its that warm fuzzy feeling eating together with others that i miss most this time around... its also more motivating to fast when u know whats in store after the sun goes down ;)
so who's house next? :p
and finally on the 7th Day i feel its great to break fast with a bunch of youth, good homecooked food from each one, reflections, and Baha'i CHARADES!
i wish my comm had put more effort into planning breaking our fast more often together then jz de weekend.. i luv goin 2 ppl's house and breaking our fast together... its that warm fuzzy feeling eating together with others that i miss most this time around... its also more motivating to fast when u know whats in store after the sun goes down ;)
so who's house next? :p
Sunday, March 07, 2010
4th, 5th n 6th Day
it has been a gruelling weekend. so gruelling that i didnt even bother to come online.
started off with half of my film groupmates not showing up, so had to skip half me class to go shoot our 1st scene which took a v.long time! then as i was rushing to go home for JY, Sunny wouldnt start :( so thank god me groupmate came back to take me to train station cuz we couldnt figure out wat was wrong with Sunny. that night my bro took over my JY - im thinking the whole way back, what was God trying to test me? and i figured maybe there's a wisdom behind it.. i hope its a wisdom worth the trouble! :p later in the middle of d night, we (dad,bro n me) head back to coll to check on Sunny.. we tried to revive it, but our attempts failed *sob sob*
so 4th day of fast..i learnt to rely upon God, and accept that there is wisdom behind everything.
next day, i had to wake up early to take some gov survey "exam" which to me was a real waste of time! then afta dat i decide to wait wit me dad while he gets de car fixed...if i were in his shoes, i wouldnt want to be alone in a car park tryin to fix my kid's car. so a whole afternoon spent in the carpark under scorching heat...and still Sunny was in a comma... :(
we head back home jz in time for car wash with the JY's as our fundraiser for the Baha'i Fund. we might have had fun washing cars...but i really dont know how to get em to be disciplined..esp de younger ones.. in d end a parent came and complained that their kid came back home soaked wet and dont wanna send him for JY anymore.
5th day of fast taught me to be patience under all conditions and to control me emotions d best i can.
this mornin went to Mentari to conduct my thesis research... im not sure what i did was right or wrong... im not sure if the the spirit im doing it was right.. plans that i made with my fellow researcher didnt work out so well as she had to leave even b4 we could begin the research and so i keep wondering why do things keep going wrong? what kinda TEST is this la God? i came back home so tired and all i could think of was to sleep. even though i knew i had heaps of work waiting for me to get em done... i slept like a dead person. and now im awake, but with a pile of work nudging me to get em done. i feel like a machine at this moment.
why cant i enjoy the fast like i want to? on the bright side tho, Sunny came back to life! ah..wat a relief :)
6th day of fast and im trying to put my trust in God and have hope.
“Never lose thy trust in God. Be thou ever hopeful, for the bounties of God never cease to flow upon man. If viewed from one perspective they seem to decrease, but from another they are full and complete. Man is under all conditions immersed in a sea of God’s blessings. Therefore, be thou not hopeless under any circumstances, but rather be firm in thy hope.” Abdu'l-Baha
started off with half of my film groupmates not showing up, so had to skip half me class to go shoot our 1st scene which took a v.long time! then as i was rushing to go home for JY, Sunny wouldnt start :( so thank god me groupmate came back to take me to train station cuz we couldnt figure out wat was wrong with Sunny. that night my bro took over my JY - im thinking the whole way back, what was God trying to test me? and i figured maybe there's a wisdom behind it.. i hope its a wisdom worth the trouble! :p later in the middle of d night, we (dad,bro n me) head back to coll to check on Sunny.. we tried to revive it, but our attempts failed *sob sob*
so 4th day of fast..i learnt to rely upon God, and accept that there is wisdom behind everything.
next day, i had to wake up early to take some gov survey "exam" which to me was a real waste of time! then afta dat i decide to wait wit me dad while he gets de car fixed...if i were in his shoes, i wouldnt want to be alone in a car park tryin to fix my kid's car. so a whole afternoon spent in the carpark under scorching heat...and still Sunny was in a comma... :(
we head back home jz in time for car wash with the JY's as our fundraiser for the Baha'i Fund. we might have had fun washing cars...but i really dont know how to get em to be disciplined..esp de younger ones.. in d end a parent came and complained that their kid came back home soaked wet and dont wanna send him for JY anymore.
5th day of fast taught me to be patience under all conditions and to control me emotions d best i can.
this mornin went to Mentari to conduct my thesis research... im not sure what i did was right or wrong... im not sure if the the spirit im doing it was right.. plans that i made with my fellow researcher didnt work out so well as she had to leave even b4 we could begin the research and so i keep wondering why do things keep going wrong? what kinda TEST is this la God? i came back home so tired and all i could think of was to sleep. even though i knew i had heaps of work waiting for me to get em done... i slept like a dead person. and now im awake, but with a pile of work nudging me to get em done. i feel like a machine at this moment.
why cant i enjoy the fast like i want to? on the bright side tho, Sunny came back to life! ah..wat a relief :)
6th day of fast and im trying to put my trust in God and have hope.
“Never lose thy trust in God. Be thou ever hopeful, for the bounties of God never cease to flow upon man. If viewed from one perspective they seem to decrease, but from another they are full and complete. Man is under all conditions immersed in a sea of God’s blessings. Therefore, be thou not hopeless under any circumstances, but rather be firm in thy hope.” Abdu'l-Baha
Friday, March 05, 2010
3rd Day
well today i didnt go straight to sleep afta breakfast, instead we (mom,dad,bro & sil) said prayers togather and reflected on the Writings..somehow this felt goood to me... today the Writings touched on how Abdu'l Baha should be the example in our lives while dealing with fellowmen.. Abdu'l Baha is The Perfect Exampler, reading stories about His life makes one have so much respect for Him! what would we do without Abdu'l Baha la...
also while praying, i realized how fortunate i am to have family around me during this fasting month, especially during breakfast... somebody to wake me if I am still not downstairs by 7, to share food and then pray together.. im not sure how long more i will have this bounty, so gotta appreciate it while i have it! but im also very interested to experience having breakfast alone someday..hehe..
Thursday, March 04, 2010
2nd Day
a friend of mine sent this to me - Poem from Ruumi:
The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep.
guess what i did? i went back to sleep..after prayers.. my discipline fails me! but i feel whole lot fresher havin that extra 1 hr sleep! :p
but i wonder if Ruumi really meant by dont go back to sleep literally or spiritually?
-today was alrite despite having to go round in da heat promoting YGR, but spiritually? hmmm..
The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep.
guess what i did? i went back to sleep..after prayers.. my discipline fails me! but i feel whole lot fresher havin that extra 1 hr sleep! :p
but i wonder if Ruumi really meant by dont go back to sleep literally or spiritually?
-today was alrite despite having to go round in da heat promoting YGR, but spiritually? hmmm..
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
1st day
"Mere abstention from food has no effect on the spirit. It is only a symbol, a reminder."
this is what that was goin on in me mind the whole day today... im not sure if im doin it right.. i even unconsciously slipped a kacang in me mouth to test if it had masuk angin! SIN i have! :(
i hope that 1 kacang didnt harm me fast..
i wanna find what is that effect it has on the spirit... and how isit some people come to love the fast so much...
18days to go to find out...
this is what that was goin on in me mind the whole day today... im not sure if im doin it right.. i even unconsciously slipped a kacang in me mouth to test if it had masuk angin! SIN i have! :(
i hope that 1 kacang didnt harm me fast..
i wanna find what is that effect it has on the spirit... and how isit some people come to love the fast so much...
18days to go to find out...
19 days
well the Baha'i Fast is here again..!
last year i was inspired by this blog nineteendays which had various people from around the world contributing their pictures. so this year, im gonna try to post something up for next 19days.. something about this Fast. i know i am one day behind... so im hoping somehow this will work out, just so i dont let 19days just slip away like it always does!
anyway.. here's to the next 18 days!
HAppY FasTing my Dear Baha'i Friends!!!
last year i was inspired by this blog nineteendays which had various people from around the world contributing their pictures. so this year, im gonna try to post something up for next 19days.. something about this Fast. i know i am one day behind... so im hoping somehow this will work out, just so i dont let 19days just slip away like it always does!
anyway.. here's to the next 18 days!
HAppY FasTing my Dear Baha'i Friends!!!
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