In love..

his songs fills my soul..

that guitar skills of his is amazing!
tho sometimes i may not understand his message..
yet that music of his speaks like no other..

i fell in love at 17 with his music,
and until now, there is no stopping me
listening to his wonderful tunes n that sexy guitar!

ladies n gentleman,
i present to u..
John Mayer!!!

double 2's!

this year was kinda weird turning 22...

i really didnt feel any hype... or had any expectation.. no feeel! i knew my sis was all gung-ho tht i shuld go n celebrate n all...but i didnt feel the need to.. (sign of gettin older?)

i read something bout birthdays and the concept of self from a friend's blog (chrysalis) that made perfect sense n hopefully she wont mind me copying n pasting it there!

"Do you not feel that by celebrating birthdays is sign of Self-glorification, a means of boasting our ego?

Human society at present exerts a pernicious influence upon the soul of man. Instead of allowing us to live a life of service and sacrifice, it is highly competitive and teaches us to pride ourselves on our accomplishments. From early childhood we are trained to develop our ego and to seek to exalt ourselves above others, in the ultimate aim of achieving, self-importance, success and power."

i do admit i still can be a very self centered person at times, my ego still creeps on me.. i get lazy to do better things in life.. i still want appreciation of other n bla bla.. so i don think i should feed it any further ya knw?

so wat i did for me bday? nofing much really.. i went to class.. came back n skyped with my sis..it was really good to finally use d webcam n seeing her in d skool was super cool! n skyped more with my bro n amy, n my couzie... it was nice :)
had lil dinner wit d remaining fam..n dats it lah! wish i had done something more productive like chilren's class..but anyway.. it was a nice n quiet bday!

thanks u guys 4 wishes n bday prez's n sms's n calls!

p.s on d 16th we had a lil surprise party for another fren who also has d same birthdate..so me, prav, n oli had a late celebration wit some close frens... n it was fun playing those games!!
heehee..

do i need a title?

its the holi holi holidayssss!!
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

i think i tend to apprciate my holidays after highschool more for a few reasons:

no.1 it's tough work being a uni student! we need our breaks more often!

no.2 once work starts.. i doubt getting nice long hols like this..

no.3 somehow i actually have something to do during hols.. unlike school hols meant tv 24hrs a day n playing with the neighbourhood kids.

aite.. so tho i only have 2 weeks.. it shall be put to good use.. i'm gonna go see mamajan in BKT n also my happenin realtives in JKT! n dis time one of the aunties will b cmin wit me a.k.a fishy!

for now.. im just gonna try get used to my new short hair.. having mixed feelings bout it.. it's a love hate rship.. yeh i knw, i do take my hair seriously. :p

finalss

ok short update!

its finally end of semesterr!!! woohoo!! i got one more paper left.. and this heat aint helping me with the books at all.. hence the blogging n facebooking , etc...

looking back..this sem has been pretty good compared to any semesters b4 this.. i actually had some fun n less stress :) well that's coz we din need to do soooo much research on journals and do many many lab reports.. i like doing group work..brings the best out in everybody!! PLUS we got to design a educational game from scratch! it was lotsa fun... dePSYpher was what we called it.. based on the different psychological disorders.. maybe one u'll see it in the market..hehehe..

dis sem felt like we did lotsa art work too.. from posters to making a model for cognitive psych.. felt like i was in school again! hehe.. so much better then writing aimless lab reports on some theory some guy thought of.. :p

also i am grateful to be in d same classes as my 'aunties'.. don't feel so lost la in class..tho they keep takin sleeping pics of me... :s

however, next sem wont be as great la.. i got my thesis to start...lets hope the stress level will not rise too much ei!

shall leave u wit a pic of our cog psych model which yas a.k.a minah, sekhee a.k.a sexy, n me made!

there's one day tht's filled with so much joy..

that day is Naw-Ruz!!

every year on 21st of March, Baha'is frm all around the world celebrate Naw-Ruz (which means new day). also Persians celebrate it cuz its the 1st day of spring for em :)

this year i had a blast! we had many visitors staying over frm uk, cambodia, canada, n iran.. so it was really festive having them around during fasting and then for Naw-Ruz! i guess the more ppl there is, the more spirit of naw-ruz u feel n so everybody is all hyped up n happy!

this year i think we ate like NON-STOP frm mornin till nite... im amazed how much i CAN eat when i want to :)
started off @ a&W on Naw-Ruz eve... continued till the next day n day after! not to forget we played our share of CATAN whenever possible :)

A&W mania!

round 2: AC

naw-ruz lunch: Nirvana Maju Naw-Ruz open houses

the Fast

to all observing the fasting month and also lent,

Happy Fasting!!!

Fasting is ". . . essentially a period of meditation and prayer, of spiritual recuperation, during which the believer must strive to make the necessary readjustments in his inner life, and to refresh and reinvigorate the spiritual forces latent in his soul. Its significance and purpose are, therefore, fundamentally spiritual in character. Fasting is symbolic, and a reminder of abstinence from selfish and carnal desires."
-from the Kitab-i-Aqdas-

3rd year!

finally!

im in me third year of this psycho course... unbelivable lah! after all this while i thought of quitting n changing course, im finally at the stage where im contented with what im doing..!

the sad part is i WONT b graduating end of this year.. so many hv been asking, im geting tired of it.. so im jz gonna announce it here so plz dont ask me again k?! i only will b graduating (hopefully!) early nx year... due to some not so wise decisions i made last yr.. its costing me now! :( what's even worse is that i wont b able to get me 'paper' once im done.. cuz i gotta wait for the coming year to grad officially... really dumb system.. but that's HELP for u...but thank god im not too bothered bout it.. what sucks is that i wont b able to celebrate togather with me uni mates la... absolutely potong stim! me no likey.

on the bright side tho.. im still gonna b a student while everybody is hunting for proper jobs!! haha.. no job presasure n all dat jazz for me... heehee :D

what's REALLY bothering me is that more n more people seem to be leaving the country n im still here....! its not like i hate this place...its just that i've had enough of this place.. its time to move on... but alas i cant! not untill im done with this course anyway....
i dont knw how many farewells i've been to and it gets depressing at times when yr close freinds start leaving and u got less n less ppl 2 hang out with.. tho there are new friends who come along, yet deep down you know soon they are gonna leave too... so why bother?

i just keep telling myself this delayed gratification will be worthwhile.. my time will come.. and when it comes, i'll appreciateit sooo much, it'll be so worth it waiting all these years...! yeah that's how i play with my mind :P

last night while sayin goodnite to me fren online, i said lets pray for a bright good fulfilling day ahead...and we did...but lil did i know that our prayers would be answered in God's own ways..


well the day definitly started out as bright- the sun was blazing its rays unbiasely to everybody who embraced it...

lecture was goood we din hv to listen to d lecturer istead people had to come up and talk bout themselves, and lil did i realise that many of my classmates were goin thru some hard times in life, but they were mostly pretty positive bout it.. its amazing how everybody has a story to tell if u care to listen to them...something which i havent been really good at and this lecture helped me realise even more that we really cant judge the book from its cover.

after class i was visualising myself on reaching home and taking a nice long nap, Yas dropped me off near d ktm station and as i was crossing the bridge under the blazing scorching sun, i saw an old lady in front of me carrying bags of grocery shopping... my heart went out to her, i walked next to her hoping she woulnt mistake me for someone trying to hurt her, and offered to take some of her bags... i could sense it was a start of a great conversation!
i spoke in chinese with her most of the time and we talked from hiked-up prices of things, to our families, and her giving me advice on choosing a partner in life.
she was such a charatcer! her front teeth were gone, though she was old and had some injuries, she still travelled from Shah Alam to Seri Setia just to do marketting and going to diff places to get the best groceries... says a lot bout her love to her family! she was such a sweet lady.. bought me a bottle of water and even gave me ang pau! totally unexpected!
it has been such a long time since i spoke so much mandarin in that short span of time... so need to do some brushing up.. but im glad we could connect :) a truely fulfilling day indeed!

"let your heart burn ith loving kindness to all who may cross your path" -Baha'i Writings-

fate.wisdom.destiny.

ever wondered why things happen the way they happen?

like....

why do i have such bad luck with pork banaleaf?

why did the car die on a very important day?

why cant we be with the ones we want to be?

why cant people stop fighting?

why does one get fame and another hids behind doors?

why la whyyyy......

does EVERYTHING that happens have a wisdom beheind it?
arent some things meant to be or not meant to be?
isit our fate or destiny that we live in this time, that we crossed paths..?

sometimes i like to belive that things happen for a reason.. for us to realise, be aware, or learn from mistakes ..
other times i belive it there was a wisdom behind it... maybe i'll know whats the reason.. maybe i wont!...
and there's those other times where i feel it happened bcause it's a sign- from God.. like a confirmation of what im doing is right...

for whatever that happens or is gonna happen... i would prefer to leave it in God's hands.. i just wish i could reeeallly do that.. bcoz then whatever choices i make, it will fall into place...
and whatever that happens around me, will be something that is either for me to learn, to grow and serve better...

dont you think so?

=)

me last holiays i didnt go anywhere.

yeah...dont b surprised lah.. haha.. sometimes holidays can b awesome as long as u hv cool bunch of ppl 2 chill with :) so anyways.. dis hols, tho spent in klang valley, was reeeallly fulfilling :) n i'm really happy about it... i dont know how else to explain..!

1st rite afta exams..was ruhi course @ balakong.. decided to go get a feel of intensive Ruhi in balakong, boy i wasnt so excited bout it the 1st few days... felt bit outta plc cuz i didnt intend to do bk7 ( so long!), was it my dad's conspiracy? who knows! bt afta few days... i found our grp to be really interesting! wonderfull discussions...great company...tho i was like 'konon' co-tutor.. i learnt sooo much frm em! grad actually felt like a real grad!


then right afta dat was prep for the regional conf... the conf tht i was sosososo excited about! d day of conf came... n woweeewoww, soo manny ppl jz flowing in the hall.. i felt really privillaged to b able to volunteer for this historoical event la... my goosebumps all coming out seeing all the Baha'is frm everywhre coming in... so truely blessed to part of this global enterprise!

with spirits high afta d conf, our youth gathering was even more uplifting! i luved every part of it! everything was soooo inspiring, we all could feel the spirit was so high that night!!to me this was the conf tht i was waiting for... never hv i felt so much excitement, and just being happy..
spiritual happiness :)

bocz of the happenings goin on..we had frens frm diff places staying back to chill, so we used this opputunity n went jln jln.. hanging out.. learnin languages (more like making fun of it:p)... good times!!

so much blisss... so much realizations...

awesomeeee!

with arms wide open!

it looked like it snowed...but in fact it was all foam! yeah dis was me new years eve celebration... spent it wit me goood ol' frens n some new ones too... could be my last time partying this hard... neck pain for 2 days ok!

2008 passed by real fast must say...means its good coz i had such a good time :)

Looking back at 2008....

t'was a year i travelled & saw different countries, also a lil bit more of Malaysia... the world is indeed beautifuul and interesting! more travel this year?

t'was a year i took time off n did absolutely nothing... no more repeats of that for 2009! aim is to quickly finnish da degreee!

t'was a year of highlands... seriously i didnt go to no beach (bsides d one in COLD UK).jungles n highlands was where i was... 2009 has gotta hv a mix of both!


t'was a year i feel more independant - once my coll friends left, sister left.. i had to do more things on my own... plus me driving! woohooo!!!

t'was a year i realize how much i enjoy being with kids..... they are so much easier to have fun with and so very pure beings! what a joy to teach em :)
2009 wont mean i'll b having any of my own! nothankyou... but i'd gladly babysit 4 u to eaern extra bucks :p


t'was a year i met new people...new friends...new possibilities...broader horizons... 2009 hopefully more to come? ;)





t'was a year old friendships still stayed strong...yumcha sessions utmost bonding times!t'was a year i got to know more about myself..realised lots of things arround me, what my sense of direction could be, and accept what is given in my path....


t'was a year i renewed my love for the Faith.... hopefully, this love will continue to burn forever within me... and also be able to share it with others.


t'was a year that i must be thankfull for... to have me familia, frens n community always thre to support and guide me, and for all d good tmes we had! cheers!!!

i cant wait to see what's install for this year.... its still blurry for me..but definitely the light is waiting at the end! :)

have a WONDEERFULL 2009! :)

what the future could be..

have u ever watched Commander in Chief? its a series that is now being aired on Hallmark.. i wouldnt b surpried if u havent because it aint as popular (i think?) as Heroes n the likes.. BUT since i was bored, n there was no other shows on TV.. i decided to give it a go...

now.. im really no person to talk about politics n anything related to it.. but this show caught me attention because the person who is the president of the U.S.A is a woman! aha.. :)

so its really interesting to watch how she works as a president - intelligent, very strong in her decisions, yet understanding towards those who serve her. she is also a wife and a mother to 2 teens. its amazing how she manages to maintain her family plus its a blessing for her to have a husband who is really supportive of her post as the president while he takes the back bench being her supporter. not an everyday thing we see nowdays dont we? he's pretty much the husband any woman wants lah.. supportive, understanding, loving, plus he threw her a wonderful surprise bday party even though she would have been happy with just celebrating it with her family. now, this is why i like the husband's role, cuz it is written so well that people dont think of him as a weaker one, but someone who knows his role and they complement each other really well :)

*i've only watched 2 episodes so far..so i dont knw how d story turns out 2 be! dont blame me for anything that happens in future episodes!*

so u probly thinking im gone over the moon cuz this is all fictional, yeah true its fictional.. but to me this is HOPE. after seeing this year's election, America has shown us what is posible..if a colored man can win people's hearts and be the president, why not a woman?

The world of humanity is possessed of two wings — the male and the female. So long as these two wings are not equivalent in strength, the bird will not fly. Until womankind reaches the same degree as man, until she enjoys the same arena of activity, extraordinary attainment for humanity will not be realized; humanity cannot wing its way to heights of real attainment.

so it is possible.. and maybe this series is a way of showing poeple that it can happen and hopefully when it does they dont get too shocked!

"As long as women are prevented from attaining their highest possibilities, so long will men be unable to achieve the greatness which might be theirs." -Baha'i Writings-

Armed

when i first heard this song..i couldnt get enough of it.. it was soooo touching, i can say it moved my soul. watching d video just brought me to tears. it IS that good. i hope u will feel the same too.

"Armed with the power of Thy name, nothing can ever hurt me, and with Thy love in my heart, all the world's afflictions can in no wise alarm me. " - Baha'u'llah

something about Persian culture u mite like to know :)

recently i had 2 to do an informative speech for my public speaking class.. cracked me head on what i could crap about without anybody knwoing that im crapping - safer that way u see? ;) so my cousin gave me a bright idea about Tarof! something very common among persians.. tho im no pro at it at all...

if u dont know about this crazee culture.. well Omid Djalili (Persian British Baha'i comedian) does a good interpretation of it! enjoy :)

My refuge..

things havent been a bed of roses lately..
so many emotions run thru me dat im not even sure of why i feel what..
i've never felt more alone..
nothing anyone says will help..
all i know is that this prayer is what i need to rmbr..

O God, refresh and gladden my spirit. Purify my heart. Illumine my powers. I lay all my affairs in Thy hand. Thou art my Guide and my Refuge. I will no longer be sorrowful and grieved; I will be a happy and joyful being. O God! I will no longer be full of anxiety, nor will i let trouble harras me. I will not dwell on the unpleasant things of life. O God, Thou art more friend to me than I am to myself. I dedicate myself to Thee, O Lord.

- Abdu'l-Baha-

* i knw i'll survive...!*

nowurealizehowmuchaspacebarmeanstoyou

soumightbewonderingwhyaminotusingthespacebar...wellreasonbeingisthatmyspacebaraint
workingthankstomedadwhospilledsomewateroveritsonownomatterhowhardihitit,nothinghappens.
soimaginemechattingwithpplonline...andtheyallthinkithilarious,whichtotallyisbutibettheymustb
ajollytimereadingittoo!!sothispostidforuguystoappreciateyourspacebarandrealizethateventho
itjzrepresentsablankorspace,itstillmeanssomething!!lookingatmykeyboard,iwonderifonedayidiewill
ibemissedorppreciated?ihopeidomeansomethingtopeoplearoundmecuziknowicanbereallyhorribleat
timesandmean,thatswhyimknownasmeanperson..iwonderifmyparentswouldcutmeoffsomeslack
ifonedayiwentmissingandcamebackagain?nowwouldntthatbejustawesomeeeee!
ok.itssuppose2bashortpost.someendshere.hopeudidntbother2readthiscuzitsjustsofullofjunk!:p

holiday hangover...

wassupp ppl...??
dis blog has been so dead for past 2 months.. cuz i was not bored nor had d time 2 come here n put up anything... my holidays were fantastic!! so awesome till i wish it didnt have 2 end.... it wasnt enough for me.. it was filled with so much madness wit me couzins n fam that im missing em all so very very much!! im having sucha a badd hangoverrr! its alomst a month since i came back..but my watch still shows UK time... :(

i need to get back to reality n get 2 work la.. but its not really working.. it aint as bad when i 1st got back, n all i did was imagine i was still wit me couzies n frens back thre.. not only did i hv a holiday hangover..i came back home 2 a room so so so so so neat.. that it finnaly hit me that my sista is not gonna be here wit me for a looooong time... im gonna be on me own now, staying wit DA parents! *horrorrrr* so many thoughts started running thru me.. i broke down.... it felt like my life was just gonna go downhill... i had depended so much on her.. now its all down 2 me.. pressure sial!!!


anyway..lucky God sent an angel in d form of Abiee to come stay with me for 2 WHOLE weeks.. n boy am i ever so happy that she came....!! we had such crazee times.. i realized so many stuff around me that i have never though of before.. n it was just good to have someone to talk to till weeee hrs at nite..!
so looks like i gotta grow up a bit... n adapt to another major change... please i hope the 'Forces Above' r looking over me n helping me with every step i take...

its a SIGN

It was a house full of Psychopaths..

They sent me there, for a crime i didnt do. House arrest it said when i entered.

A confined room i was put in.. with only a hard bed 2 b seen, nothing else but walls staring at me.

The blood in me rushed so fast that it made me so tensed, just thinking about the many years i'd have 2 spend here.. for something that im INNOCENT of! it wasnt me!!!

After a few days...i felt i was going mental already.. i didnt want 2 b like d rest..noway!! anyway.. in d afternoon while everybody was busy playing board games/watchin-tv, etc.. i came out of my room n went to the bathroom 4 a pee... while pee'in i had a revelation dat its my time to ESCAPE! so without much plannin, i jumped out of the toilet window only to be seen by a fellow freind in d 'House'.

It had started to rain heavily, i had no choice but to jump from the balcony to the owning n on to the garden (looks exactly like my hse lah), n d caretaker lady (who looks just like my mom) saw me, we met eye to eye for a split second, she summond that friend to chase after me while i started to run with all my might... i turned back with a glance i saw him behind.. it was too late.. i couldnt hide anywhre...he could see me now... my pace was starting to slow down... *explains how often i excercise!* .. i was getting out of breath... before i knew it.. he caught up with me n grab me arm.. planing to take me back to the SCARY SMARY plc.. i pleaded... 'plz noooooooooooo.... !!! jz do this one thing as a fren...'

and then i woke up. guess i couldnt take d pressure of whats gonna happen next.

so isit a sign?????

2 + 1 = 3 no?

turnin 21 dis year din really mean much 2 me, xcept me feeling like an old hag la.. opposite of tohers who would celebrate dis year with a big bang.. i on the othr hand didnt really look 4ward to this age..cuz deep down im still dis lil girl who don wanna grow up n go 4 meetings, carry a briefcase, make less faults, fulfill responsibilities n give less excuses ('perks of being an adult' according 2 my bro).

however, its just another number lah..no biggie.. bsides being able 2 legally go 2 clubs (zhien cannot laught at me anymore!). so instead of consenting to a house bday party - which my mom so insistingly wanted- we decided 2 go 2 tmn negara wit a few frens n just GETAWAY frm d city!

wat a unique bday it was laa.. an awesome one too.. i think i passed a few challenges 2 enter d 'adult club'.
no.1 not falling off the boat once at all!(less clumsy la dat means!)
no.2 reaching the top of a bukit in tmn negara. (very high one ok.. can see k'tan n t'ganu all)
no.3 kayaking like a pro - till when i offered help 2 the ones in d water n fell off meself. :s
no.4 catching baby fish - for conservation purposes.
no.5 swimming across a COLD deras sungai witout drowning~!
no.6 finding a way 2 'club' in d jungle. imagine torchlights n tent. :p
no.7 let others discover the awesomeness of LOLLER wafers.
no.8 sleep soundly witout knowing there were snakes at our campsite. (d pro of being blurr)
no.9 able 2 'hunt' org asli style.
no.10 mandi properly outdoors..infront of everybody witout exposing too much :p

must say dat dis experience wouldnt b awesome if it wasnt 4 our whole crew... includin d parents who were super semangat. r.e.s.p.e.c.t yo! THANK U all of uuuuu....


* also thank u to all who sms'ed, fb msg's, email, called, etc....* thanks 4 reminding that im now officially OLD. ;)*

MUAH

dis is where home is.