Oh My God

Peter Rodger set out to ask the world what is God to them...
so what's your conclusion?

*to jump on to full discussion.. check out soulpancake!*

messin about

i stumbled upon dis blog with free backgrounds.. there were so many pretty ones! took me sometime to decide... but then its so easy to changee...so i guess i'll folow me mood lah :)

so how's this for starters?

backgournd is courtesy of

http://aquapoppydesigns2.blogspot.com/

Experiment It!

i had an interesting convo wit my bestie tonight about friends and them leaving us cuz cant expect em to be next to us for the rest of our lives...

... then he said something like 'u shud hang out with yourself..its enjoyable!'...

now i've been hearing people saying this to me pretty often lately...a random girl on the bus was telling me how much she preferred goin shopping by herself cuz she had the freedom of goin to any shop she wanted... what does this mean?! is humanity turning into isolated creatures??
im not sure if its a good or bad thing enjoying ur own company..

its good in a sense that u are comfortable with yourself to be enjoying ur own company...ppl say gotta learn to love urself before u can love others... plus u're free to do what u want without worrying about somebody else's wants/needs..

but it culd be bad in the sense that if u feel too comfortable with yourself then u wont wanna hangout with other people and start isolating yourselve from others or somewhre along those lines...

as for me... i dont think i have reached that stage of being comfortable hanging out with my self..YET! i mean there are times i prefer to be left alone to do my own thing...but not in a public place. i have never gone to watch a movie all by myself! i couldnt bring myself to do it... just so weird lah! i dont enjoy shopping alone...maybe eating alone isnt so bad if i have a book with me..

so here's my proposed research to myself and for anyone who wants to try it.

1. Go with bunch of friends and watch a movie together.
2. Pay attention to your feelings, emotions and what you guys do together.
3. Jot it down somewhere (handphone, notebook, etc..) as soon as u can.
4. Then go watch a movie all by yourself. *try not announcin to the world that u r gonna do it*
5. Pay attention to your feelings, thoughts and what you do.
6. Repeat no.3.
7. Reply to this comment / blog about which one u preferred more and why.

*now i know u research crazy ppl will say there are many flaws in this research, no theory to back up la, bla bla bla... lemme say this: its purely for fun! see it as getting 2 knw yrself better or something.. :) *

TheFunTheory

ever heard using a lil sense of fun to help people change?

well if u havent i suggest u watch this vid! this one theory i really like and i think its awesome what we can do with it! :)

Change

when something changes, it requires one to accept, adapt and start getting used to it...

tho changes keep happening throughout one's life, for me, loads of changes have happen for me n my fam in the past year...

Me sis leavin for Zambia was da biggest change for her n for me too.. i now had to survive on myself, n proof everyone im not always the lil kid anymore. it took sometime, but i think i've faired pretty well, considering how strict the parents can be!

Also, my uni freinds half of em decided to cont studyin abroad..which meant our group got smaller, n subang gang was *poof*. so, i started driving to uni alone, i found myself eating lunch alone, or chillin in the library more then i needed to... it was very weird in d beginning, but then again u dont have much of a choice, so gotta suck it up!.. but somehow it can still b weird for me.. except i LOVE driving alone cuz karaoke like gile n nobody has to suffer!!

then few months ago, my aunty who is much elderly with Parkinson's moved to b near us.
this by far has been a major change for us all as a whole family, because i guess our lifestyles n hers were very different.. so its taking time slowly understanding her mindset, and working things out...i realize its not easy caring for an elderly, especially if they have illness...there's many things that they cant do anymore, and that take a toll on em...
i get scared thinking of growing old..especially growing old alone...and being ill a that age! definitely can be depressing...how 2 make sure this doesn't happen? i feel sad sometimes seeing my aunt jz staring into the space pondering on her life.. i dont think this is how life is suppose to be..there must be something the elderly can do for others too!
*Tuesdays with Morrie comes to mind*

well,not all changes r bad i suppose, to have my bro n amy back here has been a nice change.. at least the attention isnt all on me now! i hope?! n futsal is back thx 2 em too! its jz good to have more ppl at home la..i tink my parents like it.. it saves em from annoyin each other :p

and this year, more of my close frens left for studies... its really getting harder n harder and now because witout em, things aren't the same.. even tho thre's msn/gchat/skype/fb.. not being able to go mamak, hv a sleepova, do crazee stuff 2gath sux big time! *boo!*
tho because of these occurrences, it has caused me to be open minded and be with ppl who r either much older or younger then me.. can b v.interesting i say!

change. like it or not, it has to happen.
on my part, i think so far change has made me grow up a lil bit more.
but things like friendship and bond don't change, and for that im thankful.

the not so happenin summer hols 09

ok here's a few reasons why my summer holidays were not as great as i would have liked it to be:

no.1 - i had to continue to write my thesis proposal while everybody was having a bomb going here n there... me on the other hand couldn't go anywhere cuz my conscious wouldn't let me have much fun till i got me work done... it wasnt very successful cuz i procrastinated like nobody's biz n did some real last min work in the end!

no.2 - i got real sick... so sick that i cried coz my thesis proposal was almost due! and that meant i had to stay home...quarantined meself thanks to h1n1.... imagine not being able to go out even for mamak!

no.3 i wanted to save money, n try not takin money frm parents....so i didnt travel anywhre (i could have if i really wanted) and i got a part time job. tho it didnt pay much.. i was in it more for experience.. so much for sacrifices huh?

no.4 i got sick again.. which meant i couldnt go work... even tho it was jz cough.. but thanks to h1n1, ppl r so paranoid, they give u 'THAT' look even if u sneeze in public! so annoying...jz stayed home watching tv...it got quiet depressing after awhile...

no.5 i dunoo what's gotten over me, i didnt take any rash /adventurous actions even when i could.. missed out on quiet a bit of fun- paintball, HK, Banting road trip, etc... got myself to blame. something is wrong with me man!

there u have it.. my wonderful holiday. if it weren't for friends being around to hang out..i think i would hv died! but then again..they all left/leaving one by one... lagi more sad!

ahh... back to uni again.. wonder if i shuld b happy or sad? i tink i'll b happysad.

In memory of the storryteller....

the news came so sudden..
a big shock..
a big loss....

Yasmin Ahmad was a great storyteller..
a gift so rare...
she couldn't care
what people said..
just for the sake.

she made me laugh,
made me cry,
made me see the simple things in life,
and the beauty we can jive

Thank you Yasmin Ahmad for sharing your stories,
you will be greatly missed!

confirmation

yesterday i learned that if we pray and wanna do something sincerely.. we'll receive confirmations of our actions.

me n tengteng decided to walk round her taman with hope to find people who would be interested to send their kids to our Junior Youth Spiritual Empowerment Prog which we wanna start off this sunday... 1st we saw a JY cycling while her granma walked the dog..but we didnt approach them for some reason.. then we saw some boys playing bball at the court n some uncles chilling at the park.. so we told ourselves, we'd go to the uncles to see if they hv any kids between the of 11 - 14..

as soon as we told them we were starting this prog for junior youths, they seemed delighted... without us knowing, we had stumbled upon the committee members of the Rukun Tetangga (neighborhood committee) in that area! and it seems they have been looking for somebody to take care of the youths in this area... tho they were bit apprehensive because one of the purpose was to build spiritual perception, we tried to explained to them what it meant... after giving them a preview on what its all about, they told us to put it in writing so they could fund us if we needed help...

how awesome!!! that's like the biggest confirmation i have ever witnessed by far! ;)

now.. the next challenge is writing that letter for the Rukun Tetannga! any volunteers?

thre's gotta be somebody..right?

nickelback got this song right!
that's why im putting a vid up wit the lyrics...
need i say more?

the Impact

once upon a time.. mimpi was studying for her exams, and after some hardcore studying, she decided to head back.. since her friends from oz n indo were hanging in her area, she thought she's make a short pit stop to meet em and catch up till it was time for dinner. she had not seen them in agess!

all was good and fine... they had a good time walking around and taking lotsa pics... time flew by fast.. n mimpi had to go back home cuz she still had more stuff to study... so after a big group hug and goodbye, she headed off walking fast towards where she had parked her car.. *time was ticking*

suddenly with out any notice.. came a huge *BAMMM* on her face... it was such an impact that she couldnt open her eyes for few seconds.. when she opened em, she saw pieces on the floor... her lenses were broken!! and her right eye was in pain..... still dizzyy.... the person who knocked her was oddly wearing a mask and they peered at her like something bad really happened.... mimpi was still v.blurrr... she got them to check for any glass that could have gone in her eyes... they told her she had small cuts instead... *bloood!* gasp! lucky a Wiggy boy came to rescue with tissue, and offered to take her to his sister's optical shop.. but mimpi's only focuz was to get back home! then mimpi's frens came by and got a shock...they wondered why mimpi laughed when they ask how she was? hmmm... they wanted to ask mask boy for compensation money, but mimpi still bein blur felt it wasnt right to take any money... so after feeling better, mimpi said: "dont worry bout it" and left...

driving home was scary for mimpi because her eyesight wasnt very good.. but lucky it was her hood..so she knew the roads by heart!

then mimpi told mom what happened and mom said: '"why u no take money from the him?? it was a scam the boy offering tissue and then offering to take to sis shop...lucky didnt go!"
so that shattered mimpi's innocent worldview...and made her wonder WHY didnt she ask for compensation money for her lense? and doubting if it were eally a scam? nahhh....

well at least now mimpi knows how it feels like to be punched.

anyhooos, life still goes on for mimpi after putting eye ice masks for the night....

stay tune for more adventures/hazards of mimpiii!

mimpiiiii's soundtrack!

i found a perfect song to be this blog's soundtrack!

it's from Nidji called Laskar Pelangi (directly translated means paramilitary troops rainbow.
Its actually a soundtrack for the movie Laskar Pelangi, which i have yet to watch!

this song talks about chasing your dreams, being happy and thankful to God even
when things are bad, because our love in this world will last forever...

i hope u all love it as much as i do!

In love..

his songs fills my soul..

that guitar skills of his is amazing!
tho sometimes i may not understand his message..
yet that music of his speaks like no other..

i fell in love at 17 with his music,
and until now, there is no stopping me
listening to his wonderful tunes n that sexy guitar!

ladies n gentleman,
i present to u..
John Mayer!!!

double 2's!

this year was kinda weird turning 22...

i really didnt feel any hype... or had any expectation.. no feeel! i knew my sis was all gung-ho tht i shuld go n celebrate n all...but i didnt feel the need to.. (sign of gettin older?)

i read something bout birthdays and the concept of self from a friend's blog (chrysalis) that made perfect sense n hopefully she wont mind me copying n pasting it there!

"Do you not feel that by celebrating birthdays is sign of Self-glorification, a means of boasting our ego?

Human society at present exerts a pernicious influence upon the soul of man. Instead of allowing us to live a life of service and sacrifice, it is highly competitive and teaches us to pride ourselves on our accomplishments. From early childhood we are trained to develop our ego and to seek to exalt ourselves above others, in the ultimate aim of achieving, self-importance, success and power."

i do admit i still can be a very self centered person at times, my ego still creeps on me.. i get lazy to do better things in life.. i still want appreciation of other n bla bla.. so i don think i should feed it any further ya knw?

so wat i did for me bday? nofing much really.. i went to class.. came back n skyped with my sis..it was really good to finally use d webcam n seeing her in d skool was super cool! n skyped more with my bro n amy, n my couzie... it was nice :)
had lil dinner wit d remaining fam..n dats it lah! wish i had done something more productive like chilren's class..but anyway.. it was a nice n quiet bday!

thanks u guys 4 wishes n bday prez's n sms's n calls!

p.s on d 16th we had a lil surprise party for another fren who also has d same birthdate..so me, prav, n oli had a late celebration wit some close frens... n it was fun playing those games!!
heehee..

do i need a title?

its the holi holi holidayssss!!
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

i think i tend to apprciate my holidays after highschool more for a few reasons:

no.1 it's tough work being a uni student! we need our breaks more often!

no.2 once work starts.. i doubt getting nice long hols like this..

no.3 somehow i actually have something to do during hols.. unlike school hols meant tv 24hrs a day n playing with the neighbourhood kids.

aite.. so tho i only have 2 weeks.. it shall be put to good use.. i'm gonna go see mamajan in BKT n also my happenin realtives in JKT! n dis time one of the aunties will b cmin wit me a.k.a fishy!

for now.. im just gonna try get used to my new short hair.. having mixed feelings bout it.. it's a love hate rship.. yeh i knw, i do take my hair seriously. :p

finalss

ok short update!

its finally end of semesterr!!! woohoo!! i got one more paper left.. and this heat aint helping me with the books at all.. hence the blogging n facebooking , etc...

looking back..this sem has been pretty good compared to any semesters b4 this.. i actually had some fun n less stress :) well that's coz we din need to do soooo much research on journals and do many many lab reports.. i like doing group work..brings the best out in everybody!! PLUS we got to design a educational game from scratch! it was lotsa fun... dePSYpher was what we called it.. based on the different psychological disorders.. maybe one u'll see it in the market..hehehe..

dis sem felt like we did lotsa art work too.. from posters to making a model for cognitive psych.. felt like i was in school again! hehe.. so much better then writing aimless lab reports on some theory some guy thought of.. :p

also i am grateful to be in d same classes as my 'aunties'.. don't feel so lost la in class..tho they keep takin sleeping pics of me... :s

however, next sem wont be as great la.. i got my thesis to start...lets hope the stress level will not rise too much ei!

shall leave u wit a pic of our cog psych model which yas a.k.a minah, sekhee a.k.a sexy, n me made!

there's one day tht's filled with so much joy..

that day is Naw-Ruz!!

every year on 21st of March, Baha'is frm all around the world celebrate Naw-Ruz (which means new day). also Persians celebrate it cuz its the 1st day of spring for em :)

this year i had a blast! we had many visitors staying over frm uk, cambodia, canada, n iran.. so it was really festive having them around during fasting and then for Naw-Ruz! i guess the more ppl there is, the more spirit of naw-ruz u feel n so everybody is all hyped up n happy!

this year i think we ate like NON-STOP frm mornin till nite... im amazed how much i CAN eat when i want to :)
started off @ a&W on Naw-Ruz eve... continued till the next day n day after! not to forget we played our share of CATAN whenever possible :)

A&W mania!

round 2: AC

naw-ruz lunch: Nirvana Maju Naw-Ruz open houses

the Fast

to all observing the fasting month and also lent,

Happy Fasting!!!

Fasting is ". . . essentially a period of meditation and prayer, of spiritual recuperation, during which the believer must strive to make the necessary readjustments in his inner life, and to refresh and reinvigorate the spiritual forces latent in his soul. Its significance and purpose are, therefore, fundamentally spiritual in character. Fasting is symbolic, and a reminder of abstinence from selfish and carnal desires."
-from the Kitab-i-Aqdas-

3rd year!

finally!

im in me third year of this psycho course... unbelivable lah! after all this while i thought of quitting n changing course, im finally at the stage where im contented with what im doing..!

the sad part is i WONT b graduating end of this year.. so many hv been asking, im geting tired of it.. so im jz gonna announce it here so plz dont ask me again k?! i only will b graduating (hopefully!) early nx year... due to some not so wise decisions i made last yr.. its costing me now! :( what's even worse is that i wont b able to get me 'paper' once im done.. cuz i gotta wait for the coming year to grad officially... really dumb system.. but that's HELP for u...but thank god im not too bothered bout it.. what sucks is that i wont b able to celebrate togather with me uni mates la... absolutely potong stim! me no likey.

on the bright side tho.. im still gonna b a student while everybody is hunting for proper jobs!! haha.. no job presasure n all dat jazz for me... heehee :D

what's REALLY bothering me is that more n more people seem to be leaving the country n im still here....! its not like i hate this place...its just that i've had enough of this place.. its time to move on... but alas i cant! not untill im done with this course anyway....
i dont knw how many farewells i've been to and it gets depressing at times when yr close freinds start leaving and u got less n less ppl 2 hang out with.. tho there are new friends who come along, yet deep down you know soon they are gonna leave too... so why bother?

i just keep telling myself this delayed gratification will be worthwhile.. my time will come.. and when it comes, i'll appreciateit sooo much, it'll be so worth it waiting all these years...! yeah that's how i play with my mind :P

last night while sayin goodnite to me fren online, i said lets pray for a bright good fulfilling day ahead...and we did...but lil did i know that our prayers would be answered in God's own ways..


well the day definitly started out as bright- the sun was blazing its rays unbiasely to everybody who embraced it...

lecture was goood we din hv to listen to d lecturer istead people had to come up and talk bout themselves, and lil did i realise that many of my classmates were goin thru some hard times in life, but they were mostly pretty positive bout it.. its amazing how everybody has a story to tell if u care to listen to them...something which i havent been really good at and this lecture helped me realise even more that we really cant judge the book from its cover.

after class i was visualising myself on reaching home and taking a nice long nap, Yas dropped me off near d ktm station and as i was crossing the bridge under the blazing scorching sun, i saw an old lady in front of me carrying bags of grocery shopping... my heart went out to her, i walked next to her hoping she woulnt mistake me for someone trying to hurt her, and offered to take some of her bags... i could sense it was a start of a great conversation!
i spoke in chinese with her most of the time and we talked from hiked-up prices of things, to our families, and her giving me advice on choosing a partner in life.
she was such a charatcer! her front teeth were gone, though she was old and had some injuries, she still travelled from Shah Alam to Seri Setia just to do marketting and going to diff places to get the best groceries... says a lot bout her love to her family! she was such a sweet lady.. bought me a bottle of water and even gave me ang pau! totally unexpected!
it has been such a long time since i spoke so much mandarin in that short span of time... so need to do some brushing up.. but im glad we could connect :) a truely fulfilling day indeed!

"let your heart burn ith loving kindness to all who may cross your path" -Baha'i Writings-

fate.wisdom.destiny.

ever wondered why things happen the way they happen?

like....

why do i have such bad luck with pork banaleaf?

why did the car die on a very important day?

why cant we be with the ones we want to be?

why cant people stop fighting?

why does one get fame and another hids behind doors?

why la whyyyy......

does EVERYTHING that happens have a wisdom beheind it?
arent some things meant to be or not meant to be?
isit our fate or destiny that we live in this time, that we crossed paths..?

sometimes i like to belive that things happen for a reason.. for us to realise, be aware, or learn from mistakes ..
other times i belive it there was a wisdom behind it... maybe i'll know whats the reason.. maybe i wont!...
and there's those other times where i feel it happened bcause it's a sign- from God.. like a confirmation of what im doing is right...

for whatever that happens or is gonna happen... i would prefer to leave it in God's hands.. i just wish i could reeeallly do that.. bcoz then whatever choices i make, it will fall into place...
and whatever that happens around me, will be something that is either for me to learn, to grow and serve better...

dont you think so?